The Client's Ego State: How to Turn It into a Sales Advantage

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ometimes it is impossible to get through to a client: everything seems to be done correctly, but the reaction is completely inexplicable. Who is to blame and what to do? The reason for everything is the client's ego state. Having figured this out, it is easier to come to an agreement.

Client's Ego State: What's Special About It
Psychologist Eric Berne claimed that there are three types of personality states. They depend on heredity and circumstances. And the state determines the reaction to messages and the success of communication.

"Parent"
Takes the position of an elder. He can both care and argentina email list patronize (caring), and dominate, control, teach, punish (controlling). Adheres to norms, rules, prohibitions. He is "obliged" and "must". His phrases: "I know how to do it better", "This is wrong!", "Everything is under control".

"Child"
The position of a subordinate. Desires and emotions are in the foreground. Fears, dependence, resentment, impatience are inherent in him. But from positive states - creativity, curiosity, joy. Can be both adapted (withdrawn, depressed, guilty) and natural (happy, inquisitive, sad - depending on the situation). Gives himself away with phrases: "May I?", "I won't wait!", "This is wonderful!" etc.

"Adult"
Position of equality. Common sense, adequacy and reason prevail. Situations are analyzed, they look for benefits for themselves and for others. They are rational, use experience, and offer a compromise. Balanced, reasonable behavior: “Let’s come to an agreement,” “I think this is the way out…,” “Why don’t we….”

Client's Ego State: What's Special About It

What is a transaction
The interaction between two states is defined as a transaction. It consists of an appeal from one person to another (stimulus) and a response to it. There are two types:

Parallel . Communication occurs on equal terms: "Parent" - "Parent", "Adult" - "Adult", "Child" - "Child". The ideal scheme in communication.
Intersecting . Communication – from top to bottom or from bottom to top: “Parent” - “Child”, “Child” - “Parent”, etc. “Adult” - “Child” is the optimal scheme in this case.
How to communicate with clients
The theory of ego states is good in any area of ​​life. But it is especially useful in sales – it helps to understand how to work with difficult clients .

The ideal client is an "Adult". It is easy to establish a dialogue and come to an agreement with him. But such clients are few, more and more often we come across difficult ones - "Parent" or "Child". How to communicate with them? Here are some rules.

Use parallel transactions. This means communicating as equals, creating partnerships. Then communication will be especially effective. Don't try on the role of "Adult" if your counterpart is not an "Adult".
You need to act according to the scheme: join - ask a question - find a compromise. First, let the client speak out in order to understand and solve the problem.
Complex "Adult"
If he is edifying, you need to agree with him, acknowledge his authority, and compliment him. If he is rude and aggressive, you should remain calm, polite, and tactful, and not take the negativity personally. Figure out what is needed, learn his pain, and, based on it, find a solution.

Complex "Child"
You need to calm him down (let him not think that they are trying to fool him), ask him what he wants (if he is unsure or embarrassed), sympathize (if the previous experience was negative). In general, act confidently so that he understands: the task will be solved.

How to communicate with clients
Eric Berne's theory of ego states is one of the effective tools that helps to understand the client and build a relationship with him.
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