How to Help Your Teen Tackle Homesickness While at Boarding School

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Two weeks ago, your son couldn't wait to go away to school. Excited at the prospect of new friends, new social activities and an array of interesting classes, he'd been counting the days until his departure. Now your phone is suddenly ringing off the hook with his calls, his grades are going nowhere fast and he can't seem to focus on anything except getting back home. Fast.

What happened? Was sending him to boarding school the wrong decision? What should you do?

The short answer to this question is that your son is homesick. You both put a lot of time, effort and emotion into the decision to send him away to school. But now the excitement of a new place has worn off, the impact of his transition is sinking in – and he's realizing just what he's "missing out on" at home. The good news is that homesickness is very normal, natural and, above all, temporary.

Homesickness is often triggered by a particular event – perhaps a email data grade, a challenging social experience or simply some extra down-time – anything that gives your child reason to reflect on how much "better" life was at home. Key signs of homesickness often include excessive phone calls or emails (especially asking to come home!), cessation from or refusal to participate in organized activities – especially activities that he or she ordinarily enjoys, self-imposed isolation from classmates and/or roommates, general apathy or loss of interest in what's going on around him/her and constant references to home. Closely communicating with your child's counselor or advisor will help alert you to these and other signs that your child is experiencing some degree of homesickness.

As a parent, the best thing you can do to help your child deal with his/her homesickness is to first remember that this is a natural part of the adjustment process. It also helps to understand that homesickness is the process through which your child learns that he or she has not "lost" his home, but that he has in fact "gained" a whole new home and community.